2018: My Year of Lost and Found
This year, is the year I felt so lost.
Maybe not a good opening statement for a year-end review. But I guess I should start with the not-so-good details first.
I had set brave goals for myself this year - brave, concrete goals. So brave and concrete that they frightened and knocked me off. I ended up lying in bed, netflix-ing my weekends away, being counterproductive. I lost my focus and motivation for the passing projects I've started. I stopped bullet journaling last March. No regular contents on my blog even though I have a mountain of backlog for it - so sorry. And no regular posts on my handlettering IG account.
Sadly, I had to say with a heavy heart, that I'm letting go of my domain.
Looking back, I am clueless on when I started to lose my drive. There were more excuses made than tasks done. I neglected my goals. I just kept scrolling on social media posts thinking I could also do it. But instead of acting on it and creating something, I became insecured and scared to try. I'm producing no output.
And I'm far from the girl that I wanted to be.
When Christmas break started, I joined The Purposeful Creative's Finish 2018 Brave and Organized challenge. I didn't know what to expect honestly. But it helped me know where I was at the moment when it comes to reaching my goals. It made me reflect on how my year went. And I was able to create action points - fingers crossed that I will be able to do them consistently for 2019.
In those 3 weeks that I've been doing the challenge, I found myself motivated and ready to start again. And so I encourage you guys to do the same challenge too.
It motivated me to write this.
On the brighter side, there are still a lot of good things that happened to me this year. I declared on the first of 2018 that I'm gonna learn how to swim. And hell yeah I did!
I even caught myself swimming lifevest-less and feeling comfortable on the waters of the best island in the world, Siargao. It was one of my highlights this year.
I also found a new family from my new team at work. I missed my previous team, of course. But then, it felt better to have them both. Being on a new team, I also became happier with the kind of work that I do. I'm coding again and it feels great to be doing what you really love everyday.
I got sick twice this year. And that's when I felt my family's love the most.
We received a lot of blessings this year, and to that, I'm very thankful.
Lastly, I'm happy with the relationship Chad and I have. We celebrated our anniversary at home with my family while I'm still sick. Then when I recovered, we had a wonderful time in San Rafael River Adventure(I hope I would be able to still share this here). We had fun riding an ATV and spending time with nature. It's the break I've always wanted.
My relationship with him is the one I won't ever take for granted. I feel blessed that I am welcoming 2019 still with the same person from 2014.
I started this post feeling sad with what I had to let go of and leave. But for the same reason, I am ending it feeling lighter and more ready to face 2019 positively. Mixed emotions as they say.
Goodbye 2018, and I'm ready 2019!
0 comments